I have not been in the mood to blog. I have this long post in my head regarding Gideon, and our hospital stay, but everytime I start to write I want to start crying. Even though he is ok, something inside of me is not ok. I can't seem to let go of what happened, and alot of it is because I blame myself. Most people will tell me that I am being crazy, although I know a couple of people that blame me also. So, right now I have to wait to write. Once my life goes back to normal, maybe I will go back to normal too.